Henry in NYC: 18 Boxes and a Dream

18 boxes. That is what we started with. 18 boxes
and a dream. We wanted to build something great, something that would reshape our home, something of pure beauty, something perfect on earth, something that would alleviate our struggle.

No more will our 1997 Zenith television set rest upon 4 unstable, unpacked boxes from New Orleans. No more will our nice hard-wood floors be littered by a bulky desktop server, which had already served its purpose. No more will Carol anguish in defeat from the evil hordes of dust bunnies hidden within our unavoidable mess. No more will we remain in artistic stasis, unwilling to decorate our walls before the completion of the furnishings. No more will our remote controls and Smallville DVDs cook on top of the blazing cable box. No more.

This was a complex, multi-step operation, which was carried out by 3 experts in their respective fields. Carol was the planner, always one step ahead, always directing, always motivating. Rene was the engineer, laden with ultra modern tools and armed with the wisdom and expertise one only gains from having commanded many other similar projects. I was the fervent worker, never tiring, always pushing past the deadlines.

We did not let the delivery dissuade us from our goal even though the delivery guys were less than accomodating. They brought the boxes but demanded that we hurry up and sign off on the delivery without inspecting every box because they had already wasted too much time with our stupid elevator. They refused my generous offer of a 6 pack of Corona saying "not in my work truck," yet they reaked of weed. I think it is a great tip to receive beer for hard work so I will continue to offer this reward to the delivery men and if they refuse it, they lose out on their tip.

One single bookcase with 2 drawers and a glass door. One TV center with multiple add on shelving. One partioned bookcase with a solid door and 2 glass doors. One shelf unit with 2 solid doors and a bar. These were our objectives.

On the first night of labor, Rene came directly from work in his nice suit and asked for clothing. Of course I offered a pair of scrubs. His outfit looked quite hilarious considering that the scrubs were way too tight for him. He became the book that you can't judge by its cover, because even though he looked totally ridiculous, he displayed European superiority when dealing with the wordless IKEA building instructions.

We began with old fashioned tools which took out their tole on our hands. Rene did not introduce his handheld, battery powered drill until we approached the last part on our second day, which was the TV add on. Until this time, we were forced to screw with normal screwdrivers adorned with black plastic handles. We generated so much friction and performed our tasks with so much zeal that there were shards of plastic screwdriver handles strewn all over the living room. I now have multiple cripling callouses all over my hands and an aversion to grasping objects too tightly.

During the entire process, Carol was feeling under the weather. Her judgement was clouded. As a result, she built a drawer the wrong way. Unfortunately she hammered in 2 plastic screw-nails that refused to be extracted. There was only one solution: teamwork. Rene and I each took an end and growled and spit and drew on a source deep within us, tapping into unfound energy. We pulled apart the pieces of drawer without destroying them, ignoring the noteworthy attempt of the screw-nail to stop us.

The make or break us moment occurred when Rene and I were lifting the TV add on, which is about as tall as me, a large rectangular shape with 2 legs and very heavy. We had to align 4 screws per side from the bottom TV unit into 4 holes per side on the top TV add on unit with little visibility. We heard a crunching sound at one point and Rene was yelping that it wasn't right. Carol ran to the rescue and pushed with a might born of a dream for the perfect living room set. Somehow the 3 of us yelled and pushed and pulled and tilted and torqued and turned enough so that finally the beast dropped into place correctly. Victory!

After 2 grueling days of work, it was complete. We could rest. Rene, Carol and I reclined on our sofa and admired our work. The gears began to shift. Now it will be time to fill our entertainment center in a collage of my taste and Carol's. What will the final result be? Check it out soon.