TOW MAN
The tow man has always been a figure of terror. Rarely a friend, mostly a hideous monster. Today I saw a bumper sticker stuck to the front windshield of a towtruck. "You're in My World Now." Why do we allow this? Why should these tyrants terrorize us? We should unite!!!!
That is... people who actually own vehicles... should do something about it.
The one time I had the courage to stand up to the towman I was defeated. The tragedy occurred in the parking lot of one Ben. We thought we were listening attentively enough for the sound of the raging machinery announcing HIS arrival. Yet we were not diligent enough. By the time I sprung to the rescue of my vehicle, he was already there with his beast of burden. It was a race. Would I succeed in turning over my vehicles engine and quickly reversing out of harms way or would he deftly apply the hook of certain defeat. It must be noted - I tried and I thought I had won... until I heard that sound. The sound of lost hope. He smiled... a toothless grin. He had won. The vile man held out his hand. Two words. "EIGHTY DOLLARS" I paid my dues and my vehicle was released to sallow in our defeat.
Do this for me. Do this for people like me. Do this for the people who have been bullied by forces stronger than themselves. Do this for YOU. Stand up to the towmen.
UNITE!!!!
posted by Henry NYC @ 10:16 PM
1 Comments:
As with most of life's mysteries, you often never know the true meaning behind specific occurances. If you are fortunate, patterns tend to reveal themselves, in which case you can piece them together to form a true picture.
OK Henry - you want to know the true meaning behind the tow man? Tow man is actually an appropriate description, as there actually is only one tow man in your life - we've been paying him to terrorize you for many years now. Each time you move, he moves. Its quite an expensive investment, but well worth it as we've had quite a few good laughs watching the mayhem he's unleashed on your life. Better than a trip to the Comedy Connection.
With his NYC salary, that toothless grin will soon be a full mouth of state of the art implants, adding yet another layer to his disguise. Please move from New York soon, as we had to give him a significant raise to move to the big city, and we're not sure how long we can afford to keep paying him.
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